Expression, Suppression & Skorkation

When studying, I learned that crying is the body’s way of expressing emotion. However, through nurture and conditioning, crying is USUALLY linked with sadness, weakness, or despair. Now, I am extremely expressive. It’s literally who I am. I truly believe it is my purpose in life to express, so I can inspire.

I’m also a bit of a rebel (wink wink).

Recently, I discovered that I have spent all my emotional capital in regard to what’s considered acceptable public behaviour. Honey, I am exhausted by the world and find it a misuse of scarce resources to temper my facial expressions because of nonsensical societal expectations. Every day I am on my last straw before a crash out.

THE PANEL DISCUSSION Yesterday, I sat on a panel in front of dozens of women and children—many I knew, and many more I did not. While on stage, there were things said that prompted an immediate reaction from me. However, because I WAS on stage, despite having nothing much left to give, I scraped up my FINEST ATTEMPT to hold my face accountable—with either attentiveness or a smile.

Well chile, between Levenia and Farrah signalling to me from the crowd, I realized what I scraped up from my proverbial behavioural reserves was, indeed, nothing much.

Insert skork here.

While attempting to hold firm with my rakings of societal decency, there was one moment where I wanted to just buss out a big, stinking, dutty blaggard laugh.

I mean—the atoms in my body were vibrating!!!!!!!

I have NEVER made such a valiant attempt at holding back a joyful expression like that before. But I did it; my face was straight, and my lips were pursed—albeit my eye began to twitch.

THE BIOLOGY OF SUPPRESSION

Immediately following my triumph of suppression, something extremely strange happened.I began to cry.

Stone-faced, legs crossed, head tilted and nodding as I was taught—but still haemorrhaging endorphins in my brain—I wasn’t used to cheating on my feelings like this, and I began to holla.

That made me want to laugh even more.

"Oh God, let it pass", I thought.

And it did.

SCIENCE

So it was true what I learned; that tears are the expression of emotion. Any emotion. Allerum, even.

Then I began to think of all the ways our emotions, when suppressed, can manifest.

As in another lesson in biology: when we do not express our waste, it builds up and becomes sickness, I applied that logic to emotions.

While waste is obviously not the same as emotions, they are equally important to expel.

Why?

Because the managing, expulsion, and investigation of our emotions keep us mentally and spiritually healthy, while the managing and expelling of our waste keep us physically healthy.

Both, when expelled, allow us to feel lighter as we go through the world—and make space within ourselves to take in good nutrients and experiences that enrich our lives and health. It also gives us room to process and fight the bad experiences and bacteria.

All things work together for our good—it is all important.

However, again by nurture, we have de-centered concern around mental and emotional health by setting the expectation of suppression as a good trait instead of management.

Suppression pretends it was never there: no issue, no feeling, no emotion, no joy, no infraction, no unfairness, no excitement.

While management allows you to accept all the emotions, validate the feeling, and figure out the best time and way to express it based on your circumstances.

Personally, I detest being told what to do and actively rebel against anyone who tells me to act against my body, mind, and intuition’s natural responses. I would rail against their suppression, but I also had no control over their expulsion.

So I am still learning to manage my emotions.

D CHIRREN

I often think of our beautiful children in their formative years—seeking validation, acceptance, guidance, and love from us as a community.

Our boys, who we outright and subliminally teach to suppress all emotions—Love, kindness, compassion, joy, and excitement are painted as weakness. So is despair, hurt from betrayal, anger, or fear.

But they are men, and men are not to be weak, right?

We do not allow them to fill their hollow spaces with understanding, acceptance, and expulsion.

Instead, we push them toward suppression, which fills them with a confuddlement of unmanaged emotions that one day manifest into:

Deadly misunderstandings, erosion of self-esteem, lack of integrity, mishandled and unloved offspring, expendable loved ones, mistreatment of women, lack of accountability, loneliness, despair, depression, hate, anger—or just plain old indifference.

On the other hand, many young ladies are not taught the divine and beautiful ways in which their emotions are unique and powerful.

Not taught to hone and wield them like the weapon they are.

Instead, they are told they have too many.

A defect by society’s standards.

Expectations to overuse good emotions like joy, empathy and compassion—while not acknowledging pain, betrayal, rage, fear.

In fact, we give strict instructions as to how to suppress them, so as not to be chatty, overbearing, rude, unlovable, truthful, or autonomous. or UNLADYLIKE.

With overzealous external MISmanagement of young ladies’ emotions comes the beginning of low self-esteem, emotional fatigue, low self-worth, lack of power, pandering for bare minimum, jealousy, and pure ignorance of their superpowers to innately inspire joy, autonomy, agency, sensuality, and individuality—while having the full capability of being a warrior, handling conflict, and being divine leaders.

Then we judge the manifestation.

The sneaky girl, the judgy girl, the mean girl, the envious girl, the insecure girl, the quiet and overly shy girl, the devious girl, the hot panty girl, the overly rigid girl, the overachiever-sacrificing-all-other-ways-to-grow girl, the one that feels like she carries the world on her back and everyone is counting on her so she comes last typa girl.

I’m sure you can think of some more.

IN CLOSING

Emotions are so important. Expelling them, managing them, sitting with them, respecting them—all are vital.

Everyone’s feelings are real and valid.

And regardless of whether they are respected or nurtured, they are ever-present.

Suppressed and mismanaged, they manifest in ways that are detrimental to personal growth and healthy development which translates into a troubled society. I pray for the release of those who are suppressed and that they will draw near to those who can help them manage their emotions.

As for me, that was just a time and place issue, but next time, I just may skork anyway, —because I don’t want my makeup to run from hollerin.

Arite lata!